Welcome Will!!

Britany and JJ's little boy was born Wednesday November 26 (Happy Birthday to Britany). He was 8 pounds 13 oz. He is perfect and everything went wonderfully. Apparently he has his days and night mixed up. You can't see because of the hat but another picture JJ posted on their blog showed that he has some blond hair. I guess Mae is a little to used to Noah's dark hair because the first thing she asked when seeing the picture was why they shaved his head?! Congrats Brit and JJ, and I am excited to have a new little nephew.

Mae's Little Accident

Mae cut her chin on Sunday while sliding down the hall on her pillow--she thought it was a good idea at the time! Anyway, this quick video of her (above) was taken as we waited in the ER for an available doctor... I think it betrays the fact that she was a little nervous for her first stitches.



Here is the after video. She did really well and was amazingly brave! She followed the doctors instructions perfectly and didn't even cry one bit! We go back in about a week to get her stitches out. Leave a comment to let he know how brave she was!

I am gonna give the last word on the rivalry...

...to Hitler.

Because I am having trouble embedding video right now, you will have to go here to listen to/view his thoughts.

Enjoy!

Obligatory "We lost, yew won" post.

...and I want to emphasize the "we lost" part.

I mentioned in one of my posts below that turnovers would be the key--and that proved to be the case. There is, quite obviously, NO WAY a team can expect anything but a drubbing if they turn over the ball six times--all at crucial moments.

Too bad, the yewts will have to enjoy a BCS game (a big loss if they play a Big-12 or SEC team, but an easy win if they play ACC or Big-East) while BYU heads for another toilet bowl.

Oh well... there is always next year.

Some of the little things we are thankful for...

Ian is greatful for his BYU hat and for his "Cars" boots--they
are literally the first things he puts on when he wakes up.

Noah also likes Ian's hat, but he is also thankful for a great big sister and big brother who play with him and give him his binky when he needs it.

Mae is thankful that she didn't have to get any more than 3 stitches this weekend. She thought it would be a fun idea to show the missionaries how she could slide on her pillow across our newly polished floor (something we had warned her not to do). Long story short, she hit her chin on the floor and recieved three stitches for her acrobatics. As soon as I can again post video we will put up some snipits of the ER visit.

Don't freak out...

we didn't vote for the guy, but I do have a funny story for you about this pair.

Yesterday morning I got up with Mae and I turned on the TV. The Today Show was talking about the possibility of Obama adding Clinton to his cabinet. Mae looked at the footage they were showing of Clinton and Obama interacting with each other and she asked, "Is that his mom?" I laughed a little bit and she instead said, "Oh, it must be his grandma."

I couldn't help but laugh about that--she does look pretty old.

Annual Smack: Day V

I feel the need to say to all of those yewt fans out there...

Win or lose on Saturday...

You are still a yewt, and not much can be worse.

I also have to say... thanks for reading--football smack is soooo much more fun when you do it before the game, not after (my hat is off to you, Bruce... you are the only one who wanted to play).

Ok... so I guess it is fess-up time. Who do I REALLY think is going to win this one? Here is my breakdown:

Utah is strong on defense and is very good a rushing the passer. They have a strong secondary that is good in coverage and linebackers that are serviceable (at best). Kruger will be the make/break point of emphasis for the Cougars. If he can be contained (along with Misi) the Cougars can win this game--because that will give Hall the time he needs to get rid of the football.

Utah is good on offense with a strong running game, good passing game, and very good gimmick plays. BYU has been fairly good on run defense this year, but has been pretty weak against the pass and will force a QB to beat them with his arm--this has been their strategy all year and it has paid off for the most part. My point in this is that it all depends on Brian Johnson's ability to complete accurate passes consistently. If the rest of the season is any kind of indicator, the Cougs will not get a whole lot of pressure on Johnson--though we may get a sack or two due to Brian's miscues. That said, Johnson will have to have a very good passing day to win the game. My only worry is that Utah will effectively spread the offense out--which forces our defense into "man" coverage (easily our BIGGEST weakness).

BYU has a stellar offense. TCU found a way to stop us, but there is not a team in the MWC that can match TCU's defensive athleticism--Utah comes close, but not close enough to be able to do what TCU did. That said, BYU will be able to score the points they need to keep them in the game as long as we commit ZERO turnovers.

Big surprise to you all, but I am picking BYU to win a close game--one that will be decided by less than 6 points. I think that our defense will be serviceable enough to hold yewtah on enough drives that we can manage to keep up offensively. My decision is also based on Utah's tendency to kick the field goal as soon as they are in range. They are so dependant on Sakoda that I really think he may be the downfall to this year's team--granted, he will be ice, and he will hit every one he kicks (except for the one we block), but the rub is that the yewts will need to have TD's (not feild goals) in order to maintain the lead.

Gonna be a good one!

GO COUGS!!!

Annual Smack: Day III (and IV)

Harline poses as the human "Y" after a Cougar victory
the last time we played at Rice Eccles.

I was laid up in bed all day yesterday with something the kids gave me--but nothing that a few doses of NyQuil couldn't fix.

As a result, I have just an extra joke or two and also a bit of extra reading for you. Click here to read about the finale to the 2006 game as remembered by John Beck--a good read for yewts and Cougs alike (Beck has some good things to say about Eric Weddle).

A couple of jokes:

2 yewts walk into a bar after the BYU game against TCU and order a round for the house for TCU's "big win" over the Cougs. The bartender asks why they are ordering celebratory drinks if their team didn't even play that day. They say, "We're doing what any good fan would do to support our yewts." The bartender then says he wished they would have come in after the big win against Oregon St. to order a round for the house since business hadn't been that good as of late. The 2 yewts had a confused look on their face and looked at the bartender and ask, "We played Oregon State this year?"

Q. What's the difference between a litter of puppies and Ute fans?
A. Eventually the puppies grow up and quit whining.

Annual Smack: Day II

I love this picture of Kyle. This was created just after his
inexplicable 27-0 loss to UNLV last year.

Ganther is one bitter yewt. Click here, scroll down a little, and look at the brief video on the right hand side of the screen. One warning... his lithp is very notithable... try not to laugh. I also like that he blames Jan Jorgensen for playing a complete game after openly admitting that he (Ganther) held Bryan Kehl (an admittedly much better athlete) on EVERY play.

Rivalry joke for the day: How many yewt fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: 3. One to actually do the work and two others to stand around and complain about how Urban Meyer could have done a much better job.

Annual Smack:

The "What is our mascot?" yewts/hawk/pirates Vs. BYU Cougars.


It has recently been brought to my attention that yewt nation may just make their second BCS bowl appearance in X number of years if they beat BYU this Saturday. Conversely, there are scenarios out there that put BYU in a BCS bowl if they can summarily dismiss the yewts at home--something like what they did the last time they played at the yew. For a brief reminder about what happened two years ago, click here--or for just the audio (for those of you who simply can't bear to see "Beck to Harline" again) you can listen to the audio as called by Greg Wrubell (BYU's guy) or by the guys on KALL 700 (the guys who call games for the yewts--this one is particularly funny). Nothing like a refresher from two years ago to bring yewt nation back to reality--not to mention the fact that we converted on 4th and 18 last year to keep the drive alive that won the game.

Though this rivalry has nearly given me a coronary the last three years of play, I have to say... it has been good to have scoreboard smack for two years in football. During most years, yewt fans can rely on Basketball season to ease the pain of such heartwrenching football defeats against BYU, but that hasn't been the case the last two years because BYU is 4-0 against the yew in basketball (also, it doesn't help that the yewt men's team lost to a div 1-AA opponent AT HOME just last week... exactly WHO is Southwest Baptist?... I guess the yewts know who they are now).

Anyway...though I could bring the rhetorical smack in more ways then one, it often falls on deaf ears. So, because pictures are a little more difficult to dismss, enjoy what I have posted below:

Snapped during the 2006 loss in RES--you gotta admit,
yewt fan or not, this guy is priceless.

Try harder girls.

Snapped just after Harline caught the ball in the endzone
in the closing seconds of the 2006 game. It was a tough loss.
I can understand.

Admittedly, I didn't know that K-Fed was a fan.
Good luck flippin' those burgers!

Awesome, but I already have a brain and I don't need another one to know how to spell.

I wonder if this is how the members in California have felt lately...

(If you couldn't tell, the sign says, "Vote Yes on 8.")

All I can say is that I am glad that there are many members who are fighting the good fight. We are proud to support the stance the Church has taken on this issue (that we don't oppose rights for homosexuals, but that we support traditional marriage) even way out here in OK.

We have seen pictures of members who have had their homes and cars vandalized, pictures of families walking to church in the midst of ridicule from supporters of "No", and heard numerous, sad stories of how people have been treated for casting a "Yes" vote on proposition 8. We realize that our stance makes us a target, and we are glad that there are people out there who are representing our church in the best way possible.

Addendum... Click on this link to see a collection of photos that I thought were pretty telling of who is tolerant on this issue and who is not. Note the vandalism to various churches and on the temple walls, the hateful language on various protesters signs (by FAR not the worst I have seen), the supposed "peaceful" protests, and especially the little girl calmly walking to her church meetings--she is braver than anybody I know.

Wanna laugh until you cry... literally? Read on:

Lindsay and I were rolling on the ground laughing at this story--and it is the third time we have read it. Let me know what you think.

"Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife."

This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like hades!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

BIG NEWS...for us anyway.

All of our friends in Oklahoma...we are going to miss you, because all of our friends and family in Utah...WE ARE COMING HOME!!!

This has been a decision in the making for a few months now. Brad has realized that the path he has been taking isn't one he wants to be on anymore. He wants more time with his family (us), and wants us to be closer to both of our families (a lot of you). These two things might have happened eventually, but realistically wouldn't be for something like 10-15 years (if at all). If and/or when he landed his first job with a University, his schedule would resemble his current one where he isn't home very much, and during any of the time when he might happen to be at home, it would be on one of the two days during the week when I am at work. We could handle this schedule if it were while he was in school and if we saw some sort of an end in sight, but long term, it simply isn't worth the sacrifice.

So...our plan is still kind of fuzzy. We don't know where in Utah we will end up. Brad will be applying for all English High School teaching positions across the state, and we will move where he gets a job. Since most of the positions will be opening up next fall, we are going to move to St. George, live in the "Brown Hotel" (what would we do without parents...we all need them every once in a while, right?), I am going to work full time at the hospital, and Brad is going to play full time Dad. We could end up finding something in St. George, which would be great, or up north, which would also be great!

Lots of changes happening with us, so keep us in your prayers, and keep your eyes peeled for jobs for Brad!!